Connecting the Pack

Abdullah Najjar 0:00
All right, everybody. Welcome to another episode of connecting the Pack. I am joined today by Veronica Becher. I'm sure I butchered how her last name is pronounced. But Veronica is a student from Germany who is currently doing two exchange years, here in the United States. And I'm interested in learning more about her story. And what brought her here and her experiences so far. So Veronica with a K Welcome to the studio.

Veronika Becher 0:34
Thank you for having me here. After laughing for two hours?

Abdullah Najjar 0:43
That was That is true. Yeah. We just had a very interesting conversation before we started recording. But I don't think we got into why you decided to show up here. So yeah, so how about you share with us like what sort of motivated you to show up to the to the United States and start this two year program?

Veronika Becher 1:04
Oh, this goes back? Probably to seventh grade. I'm not kidding. I'm not kidding. I was in seventh grade. And my English teacher told me I will never learn English. Oh, this is actually a background.

Abdullah Najjar 1:21
Wow. Very blatant.

Veronika Becher 1:24
I know Germans are very direct, you know, we all know that. We do have humor, by the way. But yeah, we also direct and he told me, I will probably never learn English. And just imagine having everywhere A and this one random C in English in your life. What's wrong with me? Like, why can I not pick up a language? And I grew up bilingual. So my mom was always like, yeah, why do you have a problem of English specifically, you're good with French your good with like Russian and German and what's happened, you know? And so in 10th grade I decided to go abroad to study in South Dakota. Whoa. Oh, my gosh. Why South Dakota, but it was good. Bisons, cornfields everything's good. No I'm seriously there's something you can tell people and they will be like, even here, they're like, I've never been in South Dakota. I'm like, Well, you missed out on bisons. Right. And good corn mazes. And if anyone's listening from South Dakota, you know what I'm talking about. So I went there lift for for host family for a whole year, and most of my friends were seniors. And they Oh, yeah, I was friends with older people.

Abdullah Najjar 2:33
Old people, not like high school seniors.

Veronika Becher 2:39
60 Plus, senior citizens, but I was like, I was 16, like 1516. And these people graduated high school. So you know. And I just really wanted to experience like the American college experience, like just going to big like sport games and being engaged meet people. Yeah. And I did, you know, I had to finish my degree in Germany. And I was like, I really want to go abroad. And so I looked up into All Programs. And that was the only program in Germany that offered two years studying abroad. I don't know if I should say that disclaimer, but without paying American tuition fees. I know this is something really direct but yeah, it is. It's something they only select five people per year really to go to state. And that's competitive. Yes, it is. So kind of if people joke about oh, you're a business student, and you don't need to high you know, GPA. Well, we do. For this program. We do because it's like med school is on the same level.

Abdullah Najjar 3:43
Med school for business students. Yes. Business

Veronika Becher 3:44
students. Exactly. And so I just studied, yeah, you know, for two years tried to get to the United States, and I really want to see the East Coast. Yeah. And so I have the choice between Elon and NC State. And as far as

Elon, you don't were Elon is?

say shame. Shame on you. Okay. You're living here longer. No, really. We are. Not that far away. Um, it's okay. Now I'm feeling 20 minutes from here. 30 minutes? I don't know actually.

Abdullah Najjar 4:20
Oh, so it's actually here in North Carolina? Yes.

Veronika Becher 4:22
Oh, it's a private school. It's considered, I hope is right. One of the prettiest college campus universities but it's private. And so I was like Elon I NC State, nothing against Elon. But I really wanted to go to big university. Universities in Germany are different you don't have all the different additional things you know, clubs and everything. You just have more like an institution where you go to to study and get your degree, though is the business school in Germany did have the experience of like, Oh, almost like an American High School. We were all together. I'm when I studied in Germany. And so I end up finding this degree and it's two years in Germany in two years and the United States getting two degrees at same time two bachelors and in each country you have an internship. So kind of international management, business of business science. Oh, whatever. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, yeah. science. Sorry. Yeah. No,

Abdullah Najjar 5:25
it's, it's yeah, sometimes I thought that business was like a Bachelor of Arts. But thank you for waiting out.

Veronika Becher 5:32
It is usually is but the reason is, we take more math classes, and I think some programming classes and because of that, the, you know, give us like a Bachelor of Science degree, if that makes sense. Yeah.

Abdullah Najjar 5:46
And you You also mentioned that you had well, I guess this stems from your, I guess, mixed background. Right. You said you were you were quite familiar with Russian. You grew up bilingual? Yeah. So how does that for some of the people that are listening?

Veronika Becher 6:02
What's happening? Oh, the long story. Um, so my dad is, he's German, but he was born in Russia. And during the Soviet Union, yes. And my mom was from Kyrgyzstan. So people like Oh, so you're Russian or German, but I was born in Germany. And so to make it short, you know, people that used to live in on the German territory, were invited to like back in, I don't know, timewise. I cannot pinpoint it properly. They were invited to live like on farms and places that are were like, on the other territory, closer to Russia. And then, through time changes. The city became Russia. And so these Germans ended up living in Russia. And so that's like the background behind German Russians, if that makes sense. Russian Germans. And during the Soviet Union, you were not allowed to go back to Germany. So people throughout World War One and World War Two, they just continue living in the in Russia, as Germans in their whole like, heritage, all the families was Dangerman. Like my great grandma, she knew only German, no Russian, and all she could read was a Bible. So crazy thing. Fun fact. Yes. Oh, Russian Bible. So after the Soviet Union union, it fell apart, my parents decided to move back to Germany. It was a program where they were like, return name, Germans, and we'll get a citizenship right away. And so my mom since she married, my dad got also German citizenship. Wow. And so I was born there. I grew up there. And my parents were like, well, you can learn Russian, or you can learn only German, but they wanted me to learn Russian too. So at home, we started, like, from the beginning on only speaking Russian, I picked up German in kindergarten, I was one of these kids born in Germany that didn't know how to speak German at all. And they put me into this one group of kids that will come up, you know, I had to wake up earlier than everyone else. I hated that. Because we had to go to these classes where I would learn German. For kids that don't know German, and I was German, it was just bad. Just but I picked up German pretty fast. And sometimes, I mean, it happens you pronounce things differently, even though you German is really weird. But it happens when you like bilingual. So I still have phalates in Russia. I was against speaking Russian at home when I was a kid. Because I was like, all my friends are speaking German and I want to speak Russian. I don't want to speak Russian. I want to speak German to not being the odd kid. But I'm really happy that my mom was like, No, you will learn Russian because you want to speak to your grandma. And I don't want to always translate everything. So understandable. So that's like, I don't know, I just pick it up. And I really, yeah, I really like being bilingual. I think wow, comes with challenges.

Abdullah Najjar 8:57
Well, you're not just bilingual. I mean, you speak English too. So that would make you trialing? Okay.

Veronika Becher 9:02
No, we had I had this discussion with people. No, I'm not. But technically, I mean, okay, I'll keep it as trilingual. I mean, I picked it up. My accent is weird.

Abdullah Najjar 9:15
Know, I would have never been able to tell that you were like, I mean, I've pointed this out before we started recording. Like, I was like, Yeah, I didn't think that you were German. You know, there's a slight, you know, there's an accent but it's not like, I mean, you've already said like, Germans do have that sort of English accent. You could tell right? Oh, yeah, you come from Germany. But I couldn't tell like that was

Veronika Becher 9:38
sometimes for certain words or like topics. I'm like, Okay, I don't know how to say this in English. And people just in my friends could make fun of me, but in a good way. They like, say this word. And I'm

Abdullah Najjar 9:48
really interesting, though. I mean, we touched on that earlier a little bit when you mentioned when you said the word Arabic, right. I was like, Oh, yes. Isn't it Yeah, we're gonna we're gonna, it's water under the bridge we're not gonna bring it up again. But But essentially, I mean, I think sometimes you could, you could tell where someone is from based on the accent. Like I could tell if someone is French, by the way they speak English, but

Veronika Becher 10:16
they also you can tell that they're French based on the smell it literally like perfume and everything, we have this conversation, you know, right away if they walk past you and you're like, Oh, this smells good. You're like, Okay, this is not American.

Abdullah Najjar 10:31
They're not American from that, you know, that sort of, you know,

Veronika Becher 10:35
No slippers right? With the pajama like, it's okay. We know right away. It's no European person. That

Abdullah Najjar 10:41
was really, I mean, seriously, that surprised me too. And I showed up and I realized that, you know, they had, you know, like, they're showing up the class with a pajama. I saw, you know, I saw people like today, a final exam. You know, I was supervising the exam. Yeah, I saw them with like PJs on. And they had, you know, these crocs. And it was, it

Veronika Becher 11:04
makes sense, though. I think so many people don't sleep, they like, Okay, I don't have time, I need the maximum sleep, I can get like three hours, whatever. And just finished this exam. But I used to, in high school, do the opposite out dress up? Oh, for my exams. And that's crazy. Maybe Wow. Because I feel like there's a psychological thing behind it. And it's like, fake it till you make it is like dress up as a business person. So you feel like you know what you do? And actually, sometimes helps a lot with like, your confidence on an exam because you know, you feel good. You look good. You're like, I'm prepared to take all this exam. So I was like, taking all my final exams with like, What was weird, maybe, but it works. I swear. Like, if anyone needs your, you know, ever slept like a logical thing. Yeah. But I think my biggest culture shock that I encountered here was Orientation Week with parents.

Abdullah Najjar 11:58
Oh, what was that like? Well?

Veronika Becher 12:04
Because in Germany, it's like a different experience. Like you finish high school and people like, I mean, our parents love us. Don't get me wrong, but yeah, like, leave, you know, you can do all the things and everything's fine. But here, it's like, orientation week, and all the parents come in, and they want to see the university in the kind of you and they eat with you. And we were like, five Germans arriving there. And we're like, well, we have our parents our parents would never arrive here. And hopefully, it's gonna be okay. And people like came from like, I don't know, the craziest places even like abroad, like I met a guy who, like whose parents from Russia, like decided to come to NC State for Orientation Week, or like, from China. And I'm like, that's crazy. Like, I don't know, my parents would not do that. Like, not that they don't love me. But that's just not a thing. Like,

Abdullah Najjar 12:51
yeah, that was strange for me to see as well. Yeah. I mean, I never, I never thought Well, the funny thing is that I was under the impression that when you go to college here, like you're 18, you're done. You're on your own. Like, I didn't know that there. Was that parental involvement. I thought, actually, yeah, like sometimes, like, you're so surprised to see them. Just saying, you know, their parents on campus, and you're like, Whoa, what, like, I really thought you'd like you severed that tie in. Yeah, like, you're now you're an adult, you're on your own, just do whatever.

Veronika Becher 13:26
It doesn't know, I totally get that. But also, that was my experience. My freedom came from COVID. Like, my parents thought, to certain extent, strict, but also, you know, I'm an only child and I was like, you know, my mom was like, yeah, be home by nine. I think guys have like, more freedom when it comes to these things. And girls are more like, you need to be here home, you know. And so the first day I arrived at my college in Germany, and I was like, five hours away from my hometown. I'm originally from the west, so they should have and are like, actually, to be precise, but it's like, by just sort of like two stations, like train stations, next to the stuff. So I like don't go into details. And so I was closest to, I studied in Reutlingen. And I was like, two days there with my parents. I'm like, Mom, Dad, can you please leave? Like I love you. Thank you for letting me move here. And my mom was like first offended my dad was like, I get you like that will be me. Like I get the totally that you want the freedom you get the freedom. So they left and I just went crazy. Like I get to know people and I was like, that's like so cool. I can actually on my own decide when to get home. Some bad though. Disclaimer, if anyone sees me in library two clock that's me. Probably a high potential honestly. Oh, my goodness.

Abdullah Najjar 14:47
Yeah. I mean, look, I had something similar. When I was, you know, back home back in Libya, you know, my parents would have would only they would be like, You got to come back home by 10. You know, yeah. And when I you know, I started school in Lebanon and on. I know, I was no longer constrained by that rule obviously, that's progress. And but I never really like I would come back, you know, I don't know, maybe like two 3am. If I had like a spending the night with my friends and my buddies, sometimes, you know, it takes, you know, we're just hanging out. But you know, you come back, and you don't, you're no longer under that pressure, or did I just, you know, is it past 10? Now do I have to go, yeah,

Veronika Becher 15:30
you can be more like flexible. Yeah, much, much more flexible. That's right. I

Abdullah Najjar 15:35
agree. And the funny thing is that I was at a dorm where a lot of the people that I was with their parents signed curfew laws, like their their kids literally have to get back to the dorm. By 12 Yeah, and you know, if they obviously have to violate that rule, they would like call their parents or something. So it was it was an interesting situation to witness. And it's

Veronika Becher 16:00
a big topic, let's be honest, like, I don't know, I just, I really enjoyed the freedom. I feel like that's something that people if they have the opportunity, that's just like, you know, life hack, I don't know. Yeah, yeah, opportunity in life to live off on campus off campus, but not to your parents house, and I get the whole, like, cost situation that people encounter, do it. Like, I'm serious about that, I get the thing where if your parents can cook for you, and your laundry is getting done, everything is fine. I mean, that's a you know, that's how you returned home for like Christmas break, and you just get the full on wellness experience of a hotel abroad. And then after two weeks, you're like, that's enough. That's enough. Let's go back home. I mean, to college, and I feel like it just helps you to grow as a person and kind of get to know what you want, how to grow, how to manage your own time, how to take care of yourself and just stay in touch with your parents. And we're so unique, I think. Yeah,

Abdullah Najjar 16:58
no, I mean, I think they're, they do play a role sometimes. In you know, they should I think, to a certain extent, they still remain involved, but you know, it's less less of like, direct involvement. You know, they're there in the background. Yes. You know, but But yeah, I think it really that sort of independence changes you and it makes you turn you into like an entirely kind of different person, right? You You're now an adult, you now have you make your own decisions. And I think through experience and through also travel, you get to Oh, definitely, you know, you

Veronika Becher 17:40
you learn, yeah, you grow you kind of understand how to act in certain situations. And you also realize that no matter how old you get, you always feel like a kid. And you never know how to manage anything, but you just feel like oh, I just want to be five again, but also don't want be

Abdullah Najjar 17:58
that you don't want to take German like lessons.

Veronika Becher 18:00
Oh my gosh, no, no, I don't want to and also not English lessons, I that's the thing. I feel like that's the thing with Spanish here. Some people hate Spanish and thing, like I don't want to learn languages, because of their experience in high school. And mostly it's the teachers and the people they encounter like that couldn't probably like properly teach a language that makes you know, people to actually continue learning your language. And I feel like I hated English in high school. Like really props anyone who loved that I didn't. And I like more interacting with people traveling and actually having an experience with international students international people. Yeah, and talking and practicing it in real life then, you know, being in a classroom Yes, being in classroom and learning incredibly. How you know, Shakespeare went through life and then all your all your teachers usually are from Great Britain, so they never teach you. Like, they never teach you an American accent. They never teach you many things besides politicians in the US and immigration policies type of thing or the American Dream topics. That's literally what I have learned. Like that's the only topics that I can recall right now on the go about America. And maybe what you see on random TV shows like Gilmore Girls, sex in the city and I do I watched it with my mom and or things like high school musical and you have this one picture of America and you come here to South Dakota, you see Bisons, like I was an interesting experience. But

Abdullah Najjar 19:36
I was also I guess through movies, I was exposed to that world of like, you know, 21 Jump Street 22. Yes. Oh, so that's the college experience. And that's the high school.

Veronika Becher 19:49
No but certain things do add up. Like, let's be honest, like you travel here and you see these things like I see the especially with the basketball season, go back. Now It was a good one. Like, I feel like I was the only one in my friends group who was actually feeling connected to the American spirit and me and like, we sat in the restaurant and I was like, please check your phone. I want to know the score. And I was like, What's wrong with you? I'm like, I really want them to continue winning. I really liked this team. Okay, a few of them. And so every single time when people asked me where North Carolina is, and I'm like, basketball, just thinking about basketball, you know exactly what's happening.

Abdullah Najjar 20:28
No, that was a big thing. That was a big deal. And I never really, I was never into like, I'm not into sports. I mean, I would play you know, but but

Veronika Becher 20:38
never like, you know, when people watch soccer in New York, but that's like what it gets, like, while I'm not a soccer person, like I'm sorry, for the all people that are like, hating me now, all the volleyball. I love basketball, maybe ice hockey, that's something I can also, you know, go through. But not soccer. I don't. I don't get that. I am sorry, I don't get the whole hype about like, soccer players.

Abdullah Najjar 21:04
But you mean, look, you guys have an amazing team.

Veronika Becher 21:07
I mean, clubs.

Abdullah Najjar 21:09
Do the dance clubs. I mean, I'm sure they're good, too. But

Veronika Becher 21:12
yes, I get that. But yeah, we do. And I mean, if the word cup was like, you know, on TV, do you watch it? I tune in? Yeah, yes, that makes sense. But basketball is just different. I feel like it's, um, you know, football, I mean, American football, you know, to qualify for German people. It's not my thing as much. I like the whole let's call it party community pre gaming, tailgating experience, just to see it. I like the game for the first hour and then after an hour, you're like, Okay, I'm sorry. But that's not my sport. And it's too long and too warm.

Abdullah Najjar 21:53
That's I felt the same way. By the way. I mean, I attended only one football game here. And it wasn't even like

Veronika Becher 22:01
I didn't get tickets. Okay. They did give you tickets.

Abdullah Najjar 22:04
Yeah, I understand how that could be frustrating with like, the availability and all but it wasn't even like a school game. I attended like a like a preseason game with like, you know, the NFL, okay. Yeah. Yeah, that was that was like with like the New York Giants and the Cleveland Browns. It was it was interesting, but I never I don't get it. I still don't get it. I don't get the rules.

Veronika Becher 22:26
Yeah, that's how I got into ice hockey first. And then I'm like, you know, in basketball. I when I was in South Dakota, we went with my host to one of like the longest in history ice hockey games ever was I'm not joking. He told us like in the car. And I was like, you know, 16 years old. And he's like, don't tell your host mom that you're tired tomorrow in the morning. Because to most school, you're gonna go off to school. And we went there and it lasted, I think seven hours long because it had to rebound and they they went on and on. And I was like, that was good, though. And then the second time I went to ice hockey game was in Germany, and apparently of has a really good team too. Yeah, I think the ice hockey you know, season just started here. Really? Am I off hurricanes. Like the whole thing. I'm off.

Abdullah Najjar 23:17
My will not stop me. Yeah, I don't know. But

Veronika Becher 23:21
I don't know when it is. But I just saw more people having their jerseys on and so on. Wow. Yeah, yes.

Abdullah Najjar 23:29
Wow. I never Yeah, I, you know, I always thought that if I were to, you know, talk to European they would say that, you know, if I would talk to if I were to talk to you about sports, they'll probably definitely. Well, it probably will they definitely will be saying that. Soccer is number one. No.

Veronika Becher 23:49
I mean, it is if you think this way people fight each other over soccer. Oh, it's a stream. It's like when hear people fight over what is your religion in a political standpoint? It's like, over soccer. It's like, I had this one kid in high school and he was like a he. Oh my gosh, I forgot like the team, but he had a different Oh, shocker. That's like the football team, soccer team. And he was the only kid who like this other team. And everyone just like bullied him over like, you like this? Like really bad like, you know, soccer team. How dare you like you should be ashamed. And I feel so bad for this kid. But it's like, seriously, like people fly conference over soccer. whatever team you like. Yeah, my soccer experience stopped in fourth grade. But I was playing one soccer. Okay. Fourth grade again. We won. We actually won the local soccer girls. Team. Wow, whatever.

Abdullah Najjar 24:53
Fourth grade you

Veronika Becher 24:54
Yes, thank you. In this way. I realized that soccer isn't for me. Yeah, I danced my whole life since my life my whole life since like, I was three. So So wait,

Abdullah Najjar 25:03
so tell me more about that. What did you dancing? I want to learn about that. So

Veronika Becher 25:09
I started when I was three or two, my mom was like debating what to put me like and let you what club should she be like? It was a huge family like discussion. It wasn't just like, I wouldn't dance, it was like, Okay, if she goes into swimming her, you know, arms will be like, bigger than her. It's that, like, have you ever seen that? That's like, you know, when people arranged marriages, that's the same thing. Where what club is most fitting for her and now she looks like in her proper your career in the future. And it's like, the biggest decision ever. And so I end up going into dancing and well, I had no rhythm, like, like feeling for rhythm for for anything for music, like I was. So they just, I don't know what happened with me, like, my whole family can dance and I'm like, I don't know what happened with get dropped or something. I don't know. And so, um, I started dancing when I was three. And I really wanted to go into ballet. But I had to be seven nor to like, be in the team and actually dance ballet. Yeah. And so I was waiting to like, you know, turn seven to be part of the ballet team. And I ended up dancing, believe for a couple of years. But then stopped and all I did professionally, I ended up why today and up all time, okay. I'm going into show Dance and show dance is it's a combination. So you're mostly group or formations. That's how we called and I was one of the national teams, German national team. So really dancing. It's more contemporary ballet and like a mixture of like, you know, when you see shows and you like, Oh, okay. Like acrobatic, like movements, nothing with hip hop more like, like modern. It makes sure of everything. And I danced throughout college, high school the whole time. And this team, I went to champions World Championships. I think the highest we were in we were like, sixth, I think. Place sixth in the world. Well, six than the world. Yes. I don't know, to this point. Like, if I tell people Oh, I density like, based on how it ends. Now, that's not the same way. And I'm like, well, things happen. Like I you know, I stopped in college because I moved and I couldn't find a team that I really liked. Yeah. And I was still playing volleyball. So you see, there's a switch off. And now I got involved into district dancing team. So I'm trying to learn hip hop because I really like it. But it's the opposite of what I used to do with dancing is so weird. Like, my body doesn't move the way I want it to be, you know, to. I cannot pick up some and I'm like, what's wrong? Like, I cannot tell people that I danced professionally. That's just a shame.

I really, I you know, I tell people I tried Irish dance once I know when you know when I was in in I was an undergrad for a semester. And now people ask me Hey, can you like, can you show us some moves that like no, of course not. It's been a while I rusty.

It's the same like when you go to like a party that could disco you know, and people like while you probably dance while because of dancing. I'm like no, you don't know that show. Dance has nothing to do with this. Like literally like certain things, you just the problem of show dances. In comparison to hip hop. One of the things is you're not an individual dancer, you rather you need to be precisely dancing like everyone else in a team because we yes and sync in sync completely. That's you practice a whole season to go to these three championships, like two German ones work like German cop, German championship, and then World Championship if you get qualified, and you dance and you train to be exactly the same, like dancing and same as the person next to you. So you never learn how to be individual dancer, how to have your own style, how to express yourself. So that's something you have to learn yourself. And then hip hop is the opposite way like more power, more energy, like be yourself. And I'm like, I don't know how to do this because I've never done this before. Wow. And so to tie back to like the Russian roots, one of the fun facts is when you go to World Championships, and I used to be in the visa was also in Germany in the east of Germany. I know Germany was just hosting it. And this is like a city for all different championships like a huge gym. Like a whole week I will just miss classes and just go through this whole championship. And I will speak to my parents in Russian and just imagine Russian teams actually also arriving there and then being super confused. Because I like with my you know jacket with my German like you know, attire dance attire and they just look at me like, why she's speaking Russian. You know? that just freaks out people all the time. And my mom would like help out some of the Russian dancers because they like, Oh, no injured something and my mom would take tape. And I don't know, she's just helping a different team. But that's okay. And that was just my experience my my bilingual experience when you or you have people randomly come up to you and they think you know, Russian, but they don't really see it right away, because my features are like, in between, like, I look half like Russian, half German. And so it's like, they come up to you, and they just start speaking Russian with you. And you're like, Whoa, how do you know I know Russian, like, and they just ask you something. You're like, Okay, I will lead you the way to the bathroom.

Abdullah Najjar 30:44
I never wow, I never had. I never knew about this. I mean, I never made because of my lack exposure to Russians, but I don't really I wouldn't. I couldn't tell.

Veronika Becher 30:56
I think Slavic people see each other. Like I was explaining this to some of my American friends. And I'm like, I see based on your face. And literally the way you like talk, I just know you have Russian roots. And sometimes it's weird. And you like, maybe I'm off something's wrong. Like you have like Russians or like Slavic people in general, have something inside of them, that tells them they're also Slavic, and I cannot explain it. I don't know how. And sometimes most of the time, you're right. Like, they just tell you like, oh, yeah, I'm from this country, but also speak Russian. And you're like, Oh, I also speak like, I don't know, I'm like how Bulgarian roots are like roots, whatever it is. And you're like, Okay, I knew that. It was not just a random gut feeling.

Abdullah Najjar 31:40
This is incredible. Wow? Yeah,

Veronika Becher 31:41
that's I don't know if you see this really often with Germans specifically, but I know that with Slavic people, that's what I've noticed. I think Germans is a little bit more difficult to like, see that they're German right away. Because they're like Dutch people. There are people that mixed backgrounds. I don't know, like Germany, we have more Turkish community than actually more Germans probably living there. Let's be honest, in Russian following is a second. I'm not kidding. It's actually thing. And also, there's so many people may have mixed heritage that you don't know exactly where they from. And I don't know, I just see the European I know they're German when they act the way they act on it. Maybe if they really direct I know that they're German

Abdullah Najjar 32:28
so even with so for you, it's like, looks you would be able to tell through looks Yes. Through maybe the way they speak. Yeah, speak English.

Veronika Becher 32:39
Oh, definitely. That's the thing that I know right away. It's German. Because Germans have a really distinct accent. Oh, yeah. Sometimes. It's a shame. Because sometimes I cannot hear all these TED talks that I have to listen to in business classes. And I'm like, Oh, this is bad. Like, I don't know why this person is German. I don't want to go through that. I know, I know. It's bad. Like the TH is not pronounced like there's certain things that just no pronounced, I don't know, it's just a thing. I'm just a makes some mispronounce things, though. Like a German person that cannot get rid of this accent just stays with you till you die.

Abdullah Najjar 33:21
No, I really think this is, I think, the beauty of, of language and how, you know, it's a testament to people's efforts in truly wanting to learn, right? Because like when you have, like, when you have a conversation, or when I have a conversation with someone who's not a native Arabic speaker, but is speaking Arabic and they're trying, it's like, wow, I appreciate that, you know, you start to appreciate it more, because like they're putting in that effort to speak to you in your mother tongue. That

Veronika Becher 33:54
makes I don't think Germans do that. I really, that's something

Abdullah Najjar 33:59
I mean, like, when you're talking to a foreigner, and they speak German to you, like, I'm sure you would appreciate that.

Veronika Becher 34:03
I don't always think that people. I don't know if you can say that. Like, I do appreciate it, but I don't know, it's just whereas he really often happen, like in Germany, specifically that people switch to English. So like, especially I've seen throughout the years, like American students coming to Germany trying to learn German, and then Germans just switch right away to English. They like no, I will not talk with you. And like, I realized even talking to some people that learn here at State, German, it takes me like, so much more energy to stop and be really like, you know, speak not so fast and more precise. And so without slang, and I understand where people are coming from but I I appreciate when people learn German, it's just like, I don't think everyone does. Unfortunately. Yeah, no,

Abdullah Najjar 34:55
I definitely you would have to maybe when you're trying to speak to them In German you would want to give them I guess. It's sort of like you're in a tough spot. Like, do you want to give them the full experience by just going full on German like with slang? Or do you want to give them the semi formal, formal, surreal

Veronika Becher 35:16
like you're in first grade? I feel so bad. Like, I'm like, I don't know how much you'd like some people get stressed out to like, say like, they know you're German. I'm, for instance, in the German Ambassador Club. And people just, you know, the moment they realize I'm not American that like, oh, no, I can not speak to you in German anymore. That's stressful. And I get that I actually feel the same pressure. I used to feel the same pressure with native English speakers.

Abdullah Najjar 35:40
I felt I felt that too, in my early days, totally

Veronika Becher 35:43
get that I'm like, especially parents. Don't get me wrong, but it's like, it just freaks me out. I'm like, oh, no, I'm like, how many mistakes? What is the sentence?

Abdullah Najjar 35:53
The grammer, or the word pronunciation

Veronika Becher 35:56
in the worst is with German and English? They cancel each other out? Oh, that's my experience. They are so close. But also they not. And so I think people that learn German, they understand what I mean by that. Like, the more speaking English, the least I know how to speak in German. And that's just bad. Like, you come back and you're like, oh, I don't know how to say the sentence anymore. Could I speak in English, because it's so close. And for some reason, like Russian is not the same. Even French, not so close. But English and German, just, they just didn't have it just they just kill each other. Like, if you know, one language, the other one justice appears like my mom used to know, English so well. And when she moved to Germany, she had to learn German from scratch. And she just forgot English completely, because they just cancel each other out. It's so difficult to keep both languages on a certain level. I even came back from South Dakota, I didn't speak German at all for whole year, because I speak only spoke like, you know, in Russian with my parents, and then in English, you know, in America. And then I came back and the first week they asked me if I can hold a speech for like a theater performance. I don't know why how I got into that. And I started and people were like, Oh, you have an American accent. And in German and American accent, it's so bad like this, oh, my goodness, these things happen. When you pick up languages, just the more you speak or surround yourself with people that speak only one language, you just kind of start to lose the other one.

Abdullah Najjar 37:21
That makes a lot of sense. I mean, if you don't use it, you kind of lose it. And you know, with with, like, even my dad like he was in working with embassies in Libya. As a chauffeur. He had to use English. But then when the embassies left after the situation in Libya deteriorated. He no longer had to use English. So he kind of weird. Yeah, he lost it. You know, and because, you know, he's speaking to us in Arabic, there was no need for him to speak to us in English. So much. So yeah. So it's like, if they're, if you're not constantly practicing it and using it, yes. Like, it's like, Ah, I feel like it's, it's getting weaker and weaker by the, you know, as the day's progress. And I feel sometimes the same way when I, like, you know, my daily, my daily interactions, they're there with Americans and with people that speak English. And when I sort of, you know, when I talk to my parents, when I call them, these calls don't last long. I mean, it's not like we're talking two hours. And so, so if you didn't

Veronika Becher 38:23
believe me, you could talk with me for 2 hours no, saying, no, no. Yeah. Makes sense. Yeah,

Abdullah Najjar 38:30
it makes sense. Like, you're just using it briefly. But the entire day is just like you're using English. Yes. And so sometimes when I talk to them, like some some words, I just completely forget. You know,

Veronika Becher 38:41
I totally get that. Yeah, it's also like, there is one other phenomenon, it's like, certain things are associated with, for me with certain languages. So I even feel like languages are like colors type of thing, or like, feeling that they give me like, I feel like Russian is more like much softer than German. That's how I perceive the language in which to speak. But I think German is still not a harsh language to people think it is, like, don't always watch only movies, and they, you know, expect the German sounds, you know, only a certain way because of world war two movies. Let's be honest. It also depends where you live, like where you grew up, what area or what type of accent you or dialect you picked up. And so one thing is, math is always associated with Russian for me. And also like all the terms for botany for like, I know science terms. I know them in Russian. So sometimes I'm like, I know this tree, but I have no clue what the name is in German or English, but I know what in Russian. And my parents are both like the scientists. So it's kind of like, makes sense. If I speak only Russian. And the same thing happens like with translations, I will translate my English book to my mom in I find it's quite easy to translate from English to Russian And, like really fluidly? I have no problem with that. But for some reason I cannot do that with German. Yeah, it just certain languages, I cannot translate them back and forth. And dreams are crazy. And like, you know, you

Abdullah Najjar 40:13
do you dream in Russian.

Veronika Becher 40:14
I dream. Oh my god, you know, the first experience when you learn a language and you move to a different place you'd like, okay, what are the things you would you know, you would dream in a different language? Well, my first dream in South Dakota, I still remember to this point, was like, uh, you know, for language history, it was the creepiest thing ever. Because to that point, I still remembered French. And so I was just there, like, you know, my French has to be better than English. And now it's just gone, because I'm just not using it. And I was like, you know, that was just a dream moment. I don't always remember when dreams, but it's like, there's some other my friends that have randomly called me up to had a dream about you remember everything. So strange. But it's like, I had a dream. This person talks to me in a different language that can French and I think at the same time in English and apply in German, but this person, different person comes in and talks with me in Russian, and they never end the whole life talks in Russia with me. And that's what gets really messed up and creepy when you have like people talking in different languages. You've never heard them talk before. Yeah.

Abdullah Najjar 41:16
Yeah. Like what happened earlier? When I was talking to my dad?

Veronika Becher 41:22
I Well, that was a dream. It was a real life experience.

Abdullah Najjar 41:25
But I'm sure it was like, very, like, a huge switch.

Veronika Becher 41:29
Yes. And also, if you ask me like things like, Oh, can you see something in Russian? You know, the typical thing that people are asking like, Okay, what do you want to know? No, tell something in Russian. And then the moment they say something, I explained this in German because my brain just switches languages around. But One fun fact maybe also about Russian in a, me I cannot pronounce the Russian r like, that's the thing that maybe helps me with not having an accent in German. Because they're German are in the Russian are, you know, the rolling? The are like, you know, would you imagine like Russians would do

Abdullah Najjar 42:03
like the rolling of like, yeah, I

Veronika Becher 42:05
cannot do that. Oh, it's that. And so that's one of the things that people notice. I don't have an accent Russian but the here that I don't roll the art, and some people do this, they can't pronounce it in Russian either. It happens to people that you know, when you can't pronounce like, I don't know. Some people just can't pronounce a certain like a letter or whatever sound and for me, the problem was, I didn't want to have an accent in German. That was for sure. You know, and so if I knew both rs kind of cancel each other out, I sticked with the German R. But I can still speak Russian and everything else. So when people hear me speak Russian, they like, oh, there is like something off. But it isn't like substantial enough. Oh,

Abdullah Najjar 42:45
yeah. Yeah. That's, that's fascinating. Yeah, I know. Yeah. Sometimes I felt when I after I after I was abroad for a while, and I spent, you know, I went back home and I spent approximately a year when I would talk to people in Arabic. It was It was strange for me, because now I have to speak constantly, every day to people in Arabic. And honestly, they noticed sometimes they're like, Are you from here? And they literally asked me that question. You know, it's like, it felt so weird to me now to transition to speaking Arabic every day, you know, in every situation. So sometimes they would question they're like, Are you are you for here? Yeah. Like, yeah, I'm Libyan so, so bad. Yeah, it's

Veronika Becher 43:34
the same as people assuming Oh, you're Russian? Definitely 100%. I'm like, Okay, this is gonna, you know, this is complicated. I'm not just Russian. I'm like, more half of have a dual citizenship. So yeah, I can always switch countries. I'm not gonna switch now. That's bad time.

Abdullah Najjar 43:53
So it's two countries. Hopefully, they don't go to war. But when they do, you can just switch sides every now and again.

Veronika Becher 43:59
That's a thing. Apparently, like kids to I think 2003 they born before 2003 or four. I don't remember the exact date. They could get a dual citizenship, because when your parents returned up, the Soviet Union fell apart to Germany. Yeah, they also new condition. If you have kids, they can have to like citizenships at the same time. And the nice thing is I can switch countries and live there. Like if I want to live there more than three months. I just have to go to like, I know, the cities. What do you call like the you know,

Abdullah Najjar 44:32
Visa like, Wait, yeah, see, yeah, embassy

Veronika Becher 44:34
missing. Yeah. And just tell them hey, no, I'm living in the, you know, in Russia, and they will just switch you and then you're like, No, I want to go back to Germany. And then after three months, you're like, oh, let's go back to Germany. And I can do that. Of course, there are certain regulations without, you know, you can just switch around or every single three months. But technically, you could do that. And I think my parents really wanted me to have the freedom of moving between countries and countries that accept Both passports without being tied to, you know, to just one nationality, even though in both passports I'm German. So, no, it's crazy but I'm never Russian I'm always German, German nationality.

Abdullah Najjar 45:17
That is, that is. I mean, look, this is a fascinating conversation. I really enjoyed it. I mean, we're going a little bit overboard. Yes, yes, yes. I don't know why. I want to. Yeah, I like that you took us through this tour of your identity and language. It's just a fascinating conversation. I do want to ask before we wrap things up here. What what do you think was probably the major lesson you've learned so far from traveling? Because I know you've been to different places. You've traveled? Yeah, countries.

Veronika Becher 45:50
I lived also like last summer in Madrid for a month. So I didn't know Spanish. And that was a big lesson. How to live with for a woman who doesn't speak English and only Spanish and you like you start communicating for some reason, somehow.

Abdullah Najjar 46:04
Using gestures. Yes,

Veronika Becher 46:06
it works. And she was so happy when I like spoke my first sentence in Spanish. And she's like, Oh, my gosh, she was telling all her friends like how I like I understood that. And then that's where your French schools kicking out of nowhere, and you're like, Oh, if you mix French and German and Russian together Unison Spanish. I'm not kidding. I'm serious about that. Making a salad. Yeah. Certain words are close to each other. So but the biggest lesson is probably travel. Just do like, let's be honest. I think like, I don't assume that people will do the same thing as you do. And unfortunately, they might judge you based on what you do. So but don't be like mad at them for judging you. Because I don't know. It just, it's easier to connect with people that been places and are open to new countries or new like cultures and nationalities, because I feel like they understand you better than someone who only lived in one city for their whole life. But I think don't judge them too fast and try to observe, listen, but at the same time be part of the community.

Abdullah Najjar 47:13
Amen to that. That's one way to wrap up this conversation. Gosh, Veronica, thank you. Thank you for this. So this was wonderful. Absolutely. Yeah. Appreciate you. Thank you so much.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai